Great news everyone!

I've quit blogging. Henceforth I'm strictly tumblring.

http://cremedelacrim.tumblr.com

Tumblr is the future of my E-Feelings.

sup y'all

i just madez a webside.

check it out.

let me know what you think.

i haven't told anyone about it yet.

www.bustinfabulous.com

things I've learned in Massachusetts

chalupa food poisoning is a game changer

HEALTH is a crazy live band

Exit through the Gift Shop is a movie I like

Lou has a cat that behaves like a dog and a dog that looks like a cow and behaves like a cat

using raw minerals from the earth, you can bake cookies INSIDE of brownies

the eskimos invented depression (lack of Vitamin D)

everything in moderation, including moderation (sometimes you gotta be Xtreme)

let's f<3ck

in rotation (no fucking around here)

1. hard rock cafe - the ballatician$
2. power - kanye west
3. champions - ron artest
4. o holy night (cover) - 98 degrees

ESCAPE FAIL

ESCAPE

like a shitty van wilder

This morning, after violently coughing up a thick, goopy ball of green drink, I saw three orange butterflies arranged in a circle, slowly flapping their wings in unison. I’m pretty sure they were conducting a séance or engaging in some sort of telepathic ménage à trois.  It was the second nicest thing I experienced this week.

Last night, my school advisor informed me that although he said two weeks ago that he was fine with me working on my senior project away from campus, he has since changed his mind.  He told me, "I know you just want to get out of here, but it sounds like you just want to get out of here." 

That sounds like a Ballatician$ lyric.

sorry

word that last post was a bit cryptic.  I apologize for that.  I was bugging out.  I think it's because I got an oil stain from some organic peanut butter on my suede shoes and I got pretty mad about it.  Don't worry though I'll get over it.  That's what I get for buying fancy peanut butter like an asshole.

Some resolutions (my new year starts arbitrarily):

1. Stop apologizing

2. Ball harder

3. Finish and release waaaaaaay more music

On that note, Bustin just put a single, "I Know," up on iTunes.  We'd love the support if you can spare 99 cents.  Think of it as a throwback to the '90s when you thought music was worth paying for.

I might start putting more random things up here for download.  Then again, maybe not, who could say.

DOWNLOAD "I KNOW"

postcocious

Question:  If a hipster falls in the forest, and no one takes a photo, did it still happen?

Its been getting real tropical up in this bitch, type a shit makes me want to paint my face and go cannibal.

more on the question later

CET: Timezone for Pussies

i've been chilling in the CET. That stands for something like "central european timezone". I haven't bothered to check if that's correct. As you know, the nba playoffs have begun. Because basketball is a wondrous, godly sport, it's played in America. As such, it occurs during reasonable hours. Unless you're 9 hours ahead of PST. So here I am, at 607 in the morning, waiting for the blazers/suns halftime to be over so i can continue to stream it from my friend's borrowed computer.

The spurs are nutting on the competition.

Ginobili looks like Sin City.

Berlin is overrun with Canadian graphic designers.

I miss the crew. no homeowner.

ljl

ps: stay tuned for my true story about how I got wasted, took tons of pills, then walked around the red light district of amsterdam crying because i couldn't get a boner.

pps: ive had no computer for over a month and so i still haven't heard the new ballatician$ ep and that really really really really pisses me off. I bump the wolfgang all across this half-assed continent.

ppps: this european ash cloud messed everything up. I'm headed to stockholm this week to hopefully make some rappity rap with skugen av svampen (there's a super decent chance i mispronounced their name). I'm also looking for my gorgeous swedish wife with tits the size of me.

RIP GURU

Free balls deep and dropping

I know what this kid's thinking.  

I've been there.  

He's wondering, "why haven't the Ballatician$ released any new music?"

Soon my friend.  Soon.

In Memory of Curtis

Today is a sad day for everyone.

I accidentally murdered my roommate Curtis while doing laundry. I was taking my clothes out of the washer and saw a furry little lump at the bottom, so I picked it up all innocent like "what's that shit?" When I realized, I dropped it and screamed like a little girl.

What the fuck Curtis. How did you get IN THERE?!

His fur was all smoothed out and clean and he looked like a flattened stuffed animal. But it wasn't a stuffed animal. It was a dead mouse.

Fuck. I was only trying to do my laundry.

THE GOVERNMENT FOUND ME

A woman showed up at my door claiming to be from the Census Bureau. She seemed alarmed that I was wearing my pajamas at 1 in the afternoon. Clearly we were on different wavelengths. She asked me for my address, which I thought was odd considering she had already found her way to my house. I think she was testing me, because when I told her I live in Barrytown she looked at her clipboard and replied, "no. no, you live in Red Hook." Don't tell me where I live, woman. I gave her the wrong zip code just to keep her on her toes. She also asked how many people live in the cabin. I mentioned The Famous Flying Ostrich, but I didn't tell her about the shrews. Do you think I should have?

On a side note, I've decided I'm going to turn in the two Ballatician$ albums for my senior project. Once they hear Long Time Cummin' they're sure to hand me my diploma on the spot.

P.S. Don't shit in my hummus, shrews. I need it for sustenance.

Taking a Poop

I've had a cough for months. I went to the doctor yesterday. He gave me meds. He's also a cop. He told me that, in California, sobriety checkpoints must give advance warning to drivers (for instance, a sign a block ahead) and allow drivers to legally avoid the checkpoints.

Food for thought

Bustin - Rollin'

Hey something actually worthwhile to blog, a new music video:

Check Out My E-Feelings

I counted nine deer in my backyard the other day.  I think they’re planning something.  A gathering in such numbers can only be suspicious.

New music projects have started crowding my briefly clean desktop.  This is both good and daunting.  I should probably start finishing some things.  

Oh, and good news for everyone: 

Following extensive political posturing and bureaucratic tomfoolery, I think I’ve finally added my senior project, under the conditions that I act more effusive, take advantage of the department’s vast resources, and imbue my art with an explicit social message.  At this point I should quote the great Sir Thomas Waits, who famously stated, “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy,” but I won’t.  In cases such as this, it’s sometimes necessary to swallow one’s pride and take the frontal lobotomy.

In my day (today), we had to dig our cars out of the snow with our bare hands in order to leave our 18^th century log cabins and use the internet. With that in mind, I’d like everyone to take a moment to appreciate the ease with which we view lolcatz.

thump thump thump thump

family made a Wale remix.  it made it to #1 on hype machine.

DOWNLOAD IT

Wale - Good Girls (Andrew Clark + Quix Remix)

"Katamari Rollin"

New Video Coming Soon...

thrift store finds

The Kingston NY Salvation Army always smells like my grandpa's house.  Interpret that how you will.  

Here are some recent additions to my goofy VHS collection:

That's Dino Riders, Mystery Mr. Ra, and Zatoichi the Outlaw.

Dino Riders is about Dinosaurs with lazer guns strapped to their heads.  If anyone has a problem with that I will fight them right now.

Mystery Mr. Ra is a Sun Ra documentary, which it turns out is in French.  How a French Sun Ra documentary wound up in Kingston, NY is beyond me.

I haven't watched the Zatoichi movie yet, but as soon as I buy some drugs and make some friends I'm all about it. 

Also picked up this MFSB record:

Instrumental tracks from the backing musicians for a lot of old Philly soul shit.  It's aight.  Kinda corny.  I blame the saxophone.  I did find a Jay-Z Black Album sample on it though so that's pretty cool I guess.

Finally, always with a keen eye for cutting edge style, Michaud-Me the Money picked up this ill Poopfest '09 shirt:

It says "PARTY" on the back.

Log Cabin to the Blog Cabin

In between pacing around my room, being a piece of shit, and “focusing too much on trying to make [my] music sound good” (quote from my school’s music department), I sometimes like to do some field recording. This past Monday I decided to record myself breaking ice in my backyard. This could be looked at as a metaphor, if you’re into that sort of thing.

So I grabbed my portable recorder and proceeded to make sloshy, crunchy noises in the forest (Vince/Knever/Thoreau/Johnny/Iron Ahab/Long John Latham/Fontaine will tell you all about how I love to maximize the crunch). Just imagine me, having a great time hanging out with myself, kickin’ it in nature and balling out to the fullest.

Unfortunately for everyone, my fun was brought to a swift conclusion when I discovered I was walking on a frozen river, and despite my usual jesus-like ability to walk on water, my leg sank into a foot and a half of mud. At this point I tried to break the fuck out, but with each step sank further and further into the doodie-brown abyss (NO HOMO).

Needless to say, I wrecked my shoes, and need a new pair. Preferably something sturdy enough that I can do my usual traversing of rough terrain, but light and airy enough that I can frollick in the cornfields uninhibited.

I posted a recording of me cursing and running through the mud below. Call it an audio-photo, if you will (you will).



OK, so it wasn’t much of a story, but whatever, go fuck yourself.

Stayed tuned for more updates from Cold-and-Boringville whenever I decide I give a shit.

LOST

I'm in the middle of watching the 2nd episode of this final season. What started as a gripping narrative has turned into a disgustingly underthought show. It is a pied play of lines people would never say, actions they would never take, and results that would never happen. The ignorance of the characters astounds. The island has turned into a time-traveling, alternate-reality, egyptian god-infested playground for piss poor writing. The staff should be ashamed. It is pitiful. Just like the Matrix movies, this proves that any unworthy mystery turns to shit when revealed. The writers admitted they didn't know where the show was headed after the 1st season, and now it looks like it. For anyone who hasn't seen the show yet, watch the first season and ignore the rest. The fact that I'm still watching it only serves to fuel my self-loathing so necessary for rhyme writing. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this show.

I'm normally not this upset.

I give it a 6.

Weekly AKA

THE NEXT RACHEL BILSON

SHANNON BREEZY

Just to prep y'all for the Slam Dunk Competition.

ooo he so breezy.

so breezy here

From Paris With Love Review

Last night Bustin, Micah, Lojack, and I hit up Travolta's new smash-hit "From Paris With Love". The four of us composed a beautiful rainbow of diversity. Bustin earned friends by asking the ticket booth whether or not he could see the movie in 3d. 'Travolta in 3d' a nearby man said, 'that would be magic.'

Turns out no magic needed. The movie is a thriller from twenty minutes in to twenty eight minutes in. Travolta's first baller scene consists of him arguing with French customs agents about bringing energy drinks into the country. He spews a cock-slap of obscenities and politically insensitive diatribes, and walks out.

Travolta's character name is Charlie Wax. Besides being a fucking amazing name, it also allows him to tell a foe at gunpoint, "Tell your boss, 'Wax on, Wax off'". He beats and shoots the shit out of people, forces his partner to carry around a vase full of cocaine for no apparent reason - and even makes him snort coke for no reason - and shoots women in the head.

If the movie were 100% Johnnie Travolta, I'd give it a 6. Unfortunately it has some pretty boy british dude pretending to be a new yorker who wastes the audience's time from beginning to end. With Travolta on-screen: priceless. Without him: garbage.

All in all, if you're looking for a movie to laugh at, not with, this is definitely the one.

I give it a: 6

Police at 4:45AM

I woke up to my doorbell-phone ringing. I couldn't stumble around in bed quick enough to answer it. I heard pounding at the door. I rose confused, and saw it was still only 445 in the morning. I went to look at the front door and a pair of flashlights shone through a nearby window. The bell/phone rang again. The conversation went essentially like this:

"um, hello"
"open the door. this is the los angeles police department."
"um, excuse me?"
"open the door."
"what are you doing here."
"we're responding to a call made from this address."
"I didn't make any call."
"from an alarm company."
"the alarm didn't go off. It wasn't even on."
"I've identified myself as a member of the police department, now open the door."

Using my better judgement, I decided not to open the door. The knocking and flashlights continued and so I called 911. They told me that it was the cops. I went outside, turns out it was the cops. They were responding to a call that no one ever made. It was super creepy. I then laid awake in bed until it was light out, half-nervous that someone had snuck in through the window and was waiting to stick me in my sleep.

Stories. I has them.

wall-a-bee

Wallabees: iGotzem

BALLATICIAN$

You're Welcome


FUCK YOU

Two classic albums.

One non-existent price.

Merry XXXmas.

First Day Of Class

I just grabbed lunch with Bustin after his first day of teaching Rap 101. Apparently the class is mostly women. They heard about his baby carrot freshness. Baby carrots, Bustin says, aren't always fresh but we aren't focusing on that. We just set up that stuuuuuuudio and we're about to record that new manimal jam.

Lookalike

just a snippet from that upcoming mixtape jam lookalike:

i'm the out of shape surfer
grown up, gross-ass sponsor for gerber
(smile)
the dude behind the hamburglar
80% of sketches of any murderer
and I'm in your house
on your couch
blending in with the eggshell fuuuurniture


- the world's largest 3g network

Weekly AKA

AKA....

The World's Largest 3G Network

The real question is...

Not "why ya nipples so dusty," but rather what shoes to cop? The contestants are Clarks desert boots or Clarks wallabees.
Xzibit A: Desert Boots

Xzibit B: Wallabees

As we all know, Ghostface, the wallabee champ, reps the latter hard, so the Wu-tang in me wants that. Though the wallabees are classic, there's a certain untouchable timelessness about the desert boots. According to Emily Peters (thanks Em), the durability on the desert boots are questionable, though this might go for all Clarks in general nowadays. The wallabees are 15-30 dollars more but that shit is CUSHION. I just don't know. What do y'all think?

Early Morning Prep

It's about 330 in the morning right now and I'm awake. I'm not awake because I was partying, or because of a cypher that went on forever, but rather because I've chewed and swallowed so many cough drops that I'm on a sugar high. I'm pacing around my room in spurs shorts and socks trying to /w people, but I can't find anyone to /w. Speaking of /w, I think that we should all take a moment to join the world of WoW. The world of world of wobblebass. Keep it in your heeeeaaaddddd. ALso, check this out:

No Concert

It's official. I have terrible managerial skills. The concert's been cancelled. look for more in the future.

CONCERT SATURDAY

ITS OFFICIAL, AMATEUR PROSE IS HOSTING A SHOW AT THE CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF ABNORMALARTS. LINEUP WILL BE ANNOUNCED

Maybe It Was Steven Seagal

We continue to strive for uberexclusivity