SHANNON BREEZY

Just to prep y'all for the Slam Dunk Competition.

ooo he so breezy.

so breezy here

From Paris With Love Review

Last night Bustin, Micah, Lojack, and I hit up Travolta's new smash-hit "From Paris With Love". The four of us composed a beautiful rainbow of diversity. Bustin earned friends by asking the ticket booth whether or not he could see the movie in 3d. 'Travolta in 3d' a nearby man said, 'that would be magic.'

Turns out no magic needed. The movie is a thriller from twenty minutes in to twenty eight minutes in. Travolta's first baller scene consists of him arguing with French customs agents about bringing energy drinks into the country. He spews a cock-slap of obscenities and politically insensitive diatribes, and walks out.

Travolta's character name is Charlie Wax. Besides being a fucking amazing name, it also allows him to tell a foe at gunpoint, "Tell your boss, 'Wax on, Wax off'". He beats and shoots the shit out of people, forces his partner to carry around a vase full of cocaine for no apparent reason - and even makes him snort coke for no reason - and shoots women in the head.

If the movie were 100% Johnnie Travolta, I'd give it a 6. Unfortunately it has some pretty boy british dude pretending to be a new yorker who wastes the audience's time from beginning to end. With Travolta on-screen: priceless. Without him: garbage.

All in all, if you're looking for a movie to laugh at, not with, this is definitely the one.

I give it a: 6

Police at 4:45AM

I woke up to my doorbell-phone ringing. I couldn't stumble around in bed quick enough to answer it. I heard pounding at the door. I rose confused, and saw it was still only 445 in the morning. I went to look at the front door and a pair of flashlights shone through a nearby window. The bell/phone rang again. The conversation went essentially like this:

"um, hello"
"open the door. this is the los angeles police department."
"um, excuse me?"
"open the door."
"what are you doing here."
"we're responding to a call made from this address."
"I didn't make any call."
"from an alarm company."
"the alarm didn't go off. It wasn't even on."
"I've identified myself as a member of the police department, now open the door."

Using my better judgement, I decided not to open the door. The knocking and flashlights continued and so I called 911. They told me that it was the cops. I went outside, turns out it was the cops. They were responding to a call that no one ever made. It was super creepy. I then laid awake in bed until it was light out, half-nervous that someone had snuck in through the window and was waiting to stick me in my sleep.

Stories. I has them.

wall-a-bee

Wallabees: iGotzem

BALLATICIAN$

You're Welcome


FUCK YOU

Two classic albums.

One non-existent price.

Merry XXXmas.

First Day Of Class

I just grabbed lunch with Bustin after his first day of teaching Rap 101. Apparently the class is mostly women. They heard about his baby carrot freshness. Baby carrots, Bustin says, aren't always fresh but we aren't focusing on that. We just set up that stuuuuuuudio and we're about to record that new manimal jam.

Lookalike

just a snippet from that upcoming mixtape jam lookalike:

i'm the out of shape surfer
grown up, gross-ass sponsor for gerber
(smile)
the dude behind the hamburglar
80% of sketches of any murderer
and I'm in your house
on your couch
blending in with the eggshell fuuuurniture


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