In between pacing around my room, being a piece of shit, and “focusing too much on trying to make [my] music sound good” (quote from my school’s music department), I sometimes like to do some field recording. This past Monday I decided to record myself breaking ice in my backyard. This could be looked at as a metaphor, if you’re into that sort of thing.
So I grabbed my portable recorder and proceeded to make sloshy, crunchy noises in the forest (Vince/Knever/Thoreau/Johnny/Iron Ahab/Long John Latham/Fontaine will tell you all about how I love to maximize the crunch). Just imagine me, having a great time hanging out with myself, kickin’ it in nature and balling out to the fullest.
Unfortunately for everyone, my fun was brought to a swift conclusion when I discovered I was walking on a frozen river, and despite my usual jesus-like ability to walk on water, my leg sank into a foot and a half of mud. At this point I tried to break the fuck out, but with each step sank further and further into the doodie-brown abyss (NO HOMO).
Needless to say, I wrecked my shoes, and need a new pair. Preferably something sturdy enough that I can do my usual traversing of rough terrain, but light and airy enough that I can frollick in the cornfields uninhibited.
I posted a recording of me cursing and running through the mud below. Call it an audio-photo, if you will (you will).
OK, so it wasn’t much of a story, but whatever, go fuck yourself.
Stayed tuned for more updates from Cold-and-Boringville whenever I decide I give a shit.
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crim LOVES to maximize crunch.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have to say, that that audio recording makes me smile harder than anything else i've ever heard. so genuine are the fucks.
i can see and hear everything at the same time.
ReplyDeletecrim, those melty ice puddles that seem sturdy from above but wet as ballatician$ below are some of the worst. i wish galoshes rhymed with crim. it does sorta if you put the emphasis on "alosh."
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HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA ROUGH TERRAIN IS BACK!!!!!
ReplyDeletewooooah.
ReplyDelete